


what a flammable heart i've been given

by majesdane



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-13
Updated: 2012-12-13
Packaged: 2017-11-21 01:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/592000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesdane/pseuds/majesdane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Already she misses the closeness of their bodies.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	what a flammable heart i've been given

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2012 [PLL Femslash Ficathon](http://ultimatums.livejournal.com/105914.html).

It's not her.  
  
The girl that Emily thinks -- imagines, wishes, whatever -- she's kissing, it's not her.  
  
Paige knows it deep down; it's intrinsic; it's there in the back of her mind, whispering to her, warning her. Emily's drunk and tastes like rum and Coke and smells really,  _really_  good and she's kissing Paige  _right now_  -- but she probably doesn't mean to. Or really want to. Paige is just a stand-in for the girl Emily really wants.   
  
(Like always.)  
  
The knowledge of this is a vine around her heart, curling, twisting, tightening. She can barely breathe.  
  
"Sweet," Emily murmurs, against Paige's lips, and Paige can feel the corners of Emily's mouth twitching up into a smile. She doesn't dare open her eyes, just keeps her hand pressed flat against Emily's chest, her flannel shirt warm and soft against Paige's palm. "Like sugar," Emily says, and pushes into the kiss just so, her tongue running lightly along Paige's bottom lip.  
  
 _Oh._  
  
She knows they should stop -- that she should stop. She knows this isn't really what Emily wants, knows that if Emily was sober, Emily wouldn't be kissing her.   
  
Emily wouldn't even look twice at her if Maya was still --  
  
"Emily," she says. She pulls away, resting her forehead against Emily's. "You're really messed up, aren't you?"  
  
"I missed you," Emily says, in a quiet voice. She reaches up with one hand, cups Paige's cheek. "I'm glad you're here now." She smiles a kind of smile that isn't meant for Paige at all, leans in for another kiss. Paige pulls away, untangling herself from Emily.  
  
(Already she misses the closeness of their bodies, like a phantom arm.)  
  
"You're drunk," she tells Emily, and somehow manages to stand up. "I'm going to go get you some water, okay?"  
  
  
;;  
  
  
It's not like she was expecting something --  
  
(She knows better than that.)  
  
\-- but when Emily passes her in the hall, just like that, like she isn't even  _there_ , like nothing even  _happened_ , she can barely stand it. It's a knife in her throat. She has to go to the bathroom, lock herself in the very last stall, lean against the tiled wall until she can breathe again. Shaky, shallow breaths.  
  
Her eyes sting with tears; she blinks them away. She has no right to be upset.   
  
 _Sugar_ , Emily purrs in her ear, her voice like honey.  _Sweet._


End file.
